How To Help A Domestic Abuse Victim - Real Talk Moms

How To Help A Domestic Abuse Victim 30

How To Help A Domestic Abuse Victim

Whether it is a friend or stranger in your life who is being abused, it is natural to want to reach out and care for them. While each victim and abuser is different, there are a few things to help you know How To Help A Domestic Abuse Victim. Not all will apply to every situation, but they can all be useful to you in learning how to help a friend who is being abused.


Stop judging and simply be there for them. It can be tough to understand why a victim will stay in an abusive situation. While we are all prone to judge, make our own assumptions and have a lack of understanding of their actions, it is important they know you are there regardless. Sometimes that means holding your tongue, listening, praying and letting them know you are there when they are ready.

Research ways for them to escape. Take the time to look at your local resources to help them find a safe haven. Whether that means they would be staying in a women’s shelter, or hiding out in the basement of another friend, you can help by dong some of the research and giving them information.

Offer to drive them when they leave. Once the decision has been made to walk away from an abuser, that often means you have to leave everything behind. Make sure to offer to drive or help get your friend to a safe place once they are ready. That may mean some help financially or simply taking a few days off work to safely transport them somewhere away from their abuser.

Document the abuse you have seen. Documentation goes a long way toward getting a restraining order and legal action once a victim leaves an abuser. If you have been a witness to abuse, make sure to document in a safe place with pictures, dates, times locations and of course any other information that could be used in court to prove the abuse.

Reach out to their family on their behalf. A lot of victims find themselves alienated from their parents and siblings by their abuser. There are often memories of arguments, angry words and lack of support in a victims mind. Reach out to those family members for your friend and see if there is a relationship left to be repaired. Going home to mom and dad may seem scary, but is often just what a victim needs to overcome abuse.

Call the authorities. Some situations can be harder than others, and one of those is when a child is involved or being hurt. While it may hurt to step in the middle and possibly anger your friend, if you fear their child is in danger do not hesitate to contact the authorities. Make sure to have proof and understand this could potentially alienate you from your friend. Just know that the safety of a child is far more important at that time.

Offer to help make an escape plan. If your friend seems to be ready to leave the abuse, it is time for you to step forward and offer to help them. That could simply be helping pack. It could also mean you help them to save money, document abuse or make a plan to leave the state or area for safety. Be willing to step out of your comfort zone to help them be safe.

No matter what you are able to do, being a good friend they can depend upon is the most important thing. Knowing how to help a domestic abuse victim is all of these things as well as understanding that individual and their personal needs. As their friend, you will be able to better judge the type of help they need to overcome and move forward in their lives.

This is part 2 in a 5 part series on Domestic Abuse written for by a former victim of domestic abuse who wants to get the information out there for everyone.  Check back next Friday for part 3 – How To Help Child Victims Of Domestic Abuse.

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by a RealTalkMom-1

30 thoughts on “How To Help A Domestic Abuse Victim

  1. Reply Robin (Masshole Mommy) Aug 22,2014 10:30 am

    It’s really scary that things like this occur and that so many times it never gets reported. These are all great tips and hopefully this helps a lot of women trapped in those situations.

  2. Reply Gingermommy (@Gingermommy) Aug 22,2014 10:39 am

    Such an important topic! Great series you have here

  3. Reply Christina Aug 22,2014 10:51 am

    It’s sad that we need these rules for our friends, because of whatif, you know? One thing I would add is Look For Signs of Abuse. Not all abuse victims think or know they are being abused.

  4. Reply Nicole Aug 22,2014 11:38 am

    Such an important topic being pulled to the forefront. It amazes me how many cases of domestic abuse occur and go unnoticed.

  5. Reply Lesley Stevens Aug 22,2014 11:39 am

    This is one of those topics that people don’t talk about a lot but needs to be addressed. These are all very good tips to help an abuse victim. There’s nothing worse than knowing someone is being hurt in their home :( Home is supposed to be a safe place, it’s the place we make memories and are supposed to feel loved the most. This makes me sad.

  6. Reply Kelli A Aug 22,2014 12:55 pm

    It’s very hard to be there for someone who keeps going back, but they need to know that there are options and sometimes they need to hear them over and over again. Don’t give up on them. Most times that’s sometimes why they go back. Fear of being alone and their abuser would never leave them. They need to know you won’t either.. Great steps/tips.

  7. Reply Sarah Bailey Aug 22,2014 12:58 pm

    Fantastic post – I know what helped me the most was just knowing I wasn’t alone and wasn’t being judged. x

  8. Reply Melissa Aug 22,2014 1:59 pm

    Wow I never would have thought of writing about this. What a great way to bring about change as well.

  9. Reply Heather Aug 22,2014 2:12 pm

    Thankfully I do not know of any abuse of my friends or family. If I did encounter this, I don’t know that I’d be able to control myself!

  10. Reply Kristen from The Road to Domestication Aug 22,2014 2:20 pm

    You have no idea how timely this is for me…I just found out last night that one of my dear friends is in this situation. Thank you for this post!

  11. Reply Coolchillmom Aug 22,2014 2:43 pm

    Yes stop judging is the first step
    We need to help people out and show them a brighter life

  12. Reply Pam Aug 22,2014 4:52 pm

    Not judging is so important. If an abuse victim trusted you enough to open up to you about it, they need support, and not your judgment. Especially if you have not been through it yourself!

  13. Reply Jen V Aug 22,2014 4:56 pm

    I am blessed to not have anyone I know in this situation. I think it is wonderful that you are helping to spread the word though about such an important topic.

  14. Reply Ashley Gill Aug 22,2014 5:51 pm

    Being there for your friend is the most important. I’m so glad you put that on there so many times. Being there as a shoulder, as an escape, as a sounding board… So many ways and as long as you are not judging, your friend is in good hands. Very good post.

  15. Reply Touristmeetstraveler Aug 22,2014 5:58 pm

    The most important thing that you can do is help them, try to find them a way out and get them out of that environment.

  16. Reply Lois Alter Mark Aug 22,2014 7:16 pm

    So great that you’re raising awareness and giving really practical tips. What a horrible situation, and we need to do all we can to get women out of it.

  17. Reply Ronnie Aug 22,2014 8:03 pm

    Great list. It’s an extremely important topic but most of us are not prepared to handle the difficulties of consoling someone who is in need of our help. Thanks for providing a resource.

  18. Reply Theresa Aug 22,2014 8:43 pm

    Great tips! My mom suffered domestic abuse. We had to stay at the women’s shelter a time or two, so I know first hand that this is great info. Thanks for putting it out there!

  19. Reply Amber NElson Aug 22,2014 10:32 pm

    This is scary. It really can happen to anyone too.

  20. Reply Veronica Aug 22,2014 11:24 pm

    Hopefully this will help a lot of women going through this horrible situation. It is important not to judge

  21. Reply Dawn Aug 23,2014 12:12 am

    These are some really great tips. In these types of situations, sometimes it’s hard to know exactly what to do and how to help.

  22. Reply Annie Aug 23,2014 1:45 am

    Definitely great tips to help domestic abuse victims! I have offered to help a friend before.

  23. Reply Mommy2jam Aug 23,2014 2:39 am

    This actually is familiar to me and its upsetting. I like that you are spreading awareness.

  24. Reply Jeanine @ Aug 23,2014 11:14 am

    Great advice. These people need all the comfort, help and support they can get. We definitely need more education on this topic!

  25. Reply Rosey Aug 23,2014 11:28 am

    It’s nice that you’ve put this info. out there. I used to volunteer at a domestic violence shelter (admin. they wouldn’t let you work w/the women until you had training). It’s sometimes hard for them to leave an abusive situation, but even harder if they don’t feel they have someone on their side. A little help can make a world of difference.

  26. Reply Ann Bacciaglia Aug 23,2014 6:23 pm

    This is such an important topic. Thank you so much for sharing helpful tips. No one should ever suffer from abuse.

  27. Reply Meagan Aug 23,2014 6:37 pm

    Such a scary thing to have a loved one go through. I think it’s so important to report and get them out of an abusive situation.

  28. Reply Angela S Aug 23,2014 7:48 pm

    This is such an important post and sadly is much needed. Thanks for sharing this!

  29. Reply Tammy Litke (@threedifferent) Aug 23,2014 9:59 pm

    Thank you for sharing this. Since I’ve never had a personal encounter with someone sharing they’ve been abused these are all very helpful for me for if I ever do.

  30. Reply Stefany Aug 24,2014 1:20 am

    There is so much that people can do if they just step up and accept that responsibility. Thank you for this post. I hope it helps someone.

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