Don't be a Deadbeat Parent- Open Letter to Absent Parents

Don’t be a Deadbeat Parent- An open Letter to Absent Parents 2

Listen, I understand things come up. I get it that life can get in the way. No, I don’t know your story. I do know one thing though, your kids need you.

Deadbeat Parent

Don’t be a Deadbeat Parent

Dear Absent Parent,

Your kids didn’t ask to be here, you volunteered them to be. Therefore you volunteered yourself. Forever. This isn’t up for debate. You need to be there for your kids, because when you made them, you made a promise. That promise may have been unspoken. That promise may not have been thought through. The point is, however, that you made it. You made the promise to be there. You made the promise to dedicate your life to your children. You might not know that, but they do.

Every time you don’t show up when you are supposed to, you break your children. Every time you tell them you will do something and you don’t follow through, you hurt them. Every single I love you they don’t hear, devastates them. All the I love yous they DO hear but don’t feel, changes who they are. Love is not just words, it actions. Actions speak louder than words. When you don’t show up for your kids, when you aren’t there for your kids, when you dismiss your children, your actions are telling them that you don’t love them. Your actions are telling them that they aren’t important. They will grow up believing that they aren’t worthy of love.

You might not be with your children’s other parent. That’s not easy. That doesn’t give you license to disappoint your kids. If you say you are going to do something DO IT.

There is no excuse not to be there for your kids. If you chose to raise them, you need to stick to that commitment. Not for you, not for your Mother in Law, but for your kids.

Stop being selfish. Grow up. You’re not a ground hog, stop popping in and out of your child’s life when it’s convenient for you.

Signed,

One Pissed of Co-Parent (and past child of divorce)

 

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by a Real Talking Mom

2 thoughts on “Don’t be a Deadbeat Parent- An open Letter to Absent Parents

  1. Reply Catherine Apr 25,2015 3:56 pm

    What about situations when teenage children choose to withdraw from the dad? Especially when the mum encourages and supports that distance? Even though he still pays all the support and keeps trying to contact them and has nothing but abuse? A good mother should make it clear a decision for divorce is between the mother and father, not the children. A good mother should not use children as weapons. But in my situation that is exactly what happened to my husband. It’s not just the absent dad who is to blame for children being hurt. So often mums can push too much of their emotion and hurt onto the children, make it their problem too.

    • Reply Real Talking Mom May 5,2015 10:01 am

      I absolutely agree. This is why I didn’t just address this to “Dads”. It’s addressed to Parents in general. Mother’s holding their children back is just as bad as people who CHOSE to be absent. If you husband hasn’t CHOSEN to be absent, then this is really not pointed to him at all!

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