Mother in laws can be a handful, as I am sure Daughter in laws can be too. Avoiding the Mother in law Drama is important and although, there may be many things you WANT to say to your Mother in Law… my suggestions is if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
If you are having issues, that you feel need to be addressed there are ways to do that without coming off like a huge bitch. In fact, sometimes you are fighting a losing battle to begin with.
Deal with your Mother in Law without the Drama
Pick your Battles
If you are dealing with a difficult Mother in law, it’s best to know when to pick your battles. Sometimes, saying nothing is better than saying anything at all. If you know that your Mother in law will a) Spin the situation to make you look like the bad guy b) Deny, deny, deny c) Have every excuse in the book for her behaviour, and the situation doesn’t involve a) Your Child’s well being b) Your family’s safety or c) your bank account, then in the wise words of an ice queen who’s heart is probably less frigid than your Mother in laws: ‘Let it go!”
Know When to Involve Your Husband
Understanding when to involve your Husband can be tricky. You must understand that she IS still his Mother and as much as he may disagree with her actions, he doesn’t want to hear every little thing she has done to upset you. If she put the dishes in a different cupboard at your house because she thought it was better that way and you are mad that she has rearranged your house AGAIN without your consent, don’t go bitching at him about it. No one died. Nothing was hurt (other than your pride) and he will start getting sick of hearing it. If there is a big issue, then bring it up gently to your husband and let him decide how to approach it. Don’t bitch at him about it, don’t nag him to death until he says something, just leave it in his hands.
Realize You Don’t Have to be Her Best Friend
There is nothing in the rule book that says you have to be your Mother in law’s best friend. Keep it amicable, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself to make it work. Sometimes it just doesn’t and that’s ok.
Dealing with your Mother in Law without drama is very important, not only to your kids, and your husband, but it’s better for the entire family that you learn how to at very least get along. There is just NO CHANGING someone, especially if they don’t see the need to change.
Do you have Mother in Law Drama?